Bodog Beat

Clever with puns, Alberto Hurtado finds himself among the 12,000 Idol wannabes who hit the San Diego auditions. (Courtesy Fox)

American Idol's San Diego contenders wow and scare the judges.

Single father Perrie Cataldo sang a Boyz II Men song and the judges love him. Michael Johns offers up some awesome Otis Redding. Simon Cowell calls Johns a "white soul singer" and he is sent on to Hollywood without hesitation.

After the break, the crazies are let out of their cages.

Valarie Reyes thinks she sings like Mariah Carey. Good set up. This can only go badly. In front of the judges, Reyes sings "Take a Look at Me Now" and it is awful with a capital A.

"Oh. My. God," Simon says.

"Yes!" Valarie yells, thinking he is blown away by her Mariah voice.

"I think your chances are one in a billion," Cowell says. "Nevermind," he adds as Valarie's world comes crashing down.

Monique Gibson sings Whitney Houston's "I Believe in Miracles" and won't take no for an answer, offering up song after song then breaking down into tears when the judges scoff. Her buddy Christopher Baker doesn't fare much better.

"The reality is there is not a single person on planet Earth who would pay to hear you sing," Simon tells him.

"I understand what you're saying and I will therefore sing the song in a lower tone," Christopher replies.

He begins to sing again and is hauled off by security.

Twenty-year-old Samantha Musa thinks Simon is "really, really hot." She sings some Aretha and earns herself a golden ticket.

Serial auditioner Blake Boshnack has tried out for American Idol since Season 3. In Season 5, he wore a Statue of Liberty costume and Simon kicked him out after a few lyrics. Worse than poor Blake is his tragic stage mom, who admits to living the Idol dream through her son. That's just sad. Blake sings "Stand By Me" and it's not as bad as the set-up suggests. However, judges remember the painful Statue of Liberty costume and send him on his way golden-ticketless. 

Twenty-eight-year-old Alberto Hurtado has written a song called Live, which Simon calls the most depressing song he's ever heard. He is given the boot, but not before producers mock him with montages as he leaves. It's good to laugh at Alberto's expense.

Sixteen-year-old David Archuleta has a paralyzed vocal chord, but that doesn't stop him from holding a tune. Randy Jackson says "One hundred million times yes," while Paula Abdul, who has upped her dosage of pain pills slurs, "I want to squish you."

Irish Carly Smithson is back to audition again after making it through to Hollywood two years ago, but was disqualified because of visa issues. Although Simon says he doesn't think she is as good as she was two years ago, the judges all say yes, and she's going back to Hollywood.

American Idol returns tomorrow at 8/7c on Fox. Want to bet on American Idol? Only the Bodog Sportsbook has your odds.