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Lindsay Lohan gets all excited recalling her days of broom closet sex. (AP Images)

Fresh out of rehab Lindsay Lohan was recently spotted dishing the dirt to a girlfriend outside the Starbucks at The Grove in Los Angeles, Calif. The dirt on the dirt was overheard by National Enquirer "reporter" Mike Walker, who proceeded to report the incident in his infamous gossip column.

"My earwitness overheard x-rated stuff that can't be repeated here (sorry!) – but Lindsay gushed that what rehab really taught her was the joy of 'sneaky sex!' It was incredibly exciting, the titillated temptress told her fascinated friend, to slip off for spur-of-the-moment sex romps while hiding out in broom closets and deserted hallways!"

LiLo must be describing doing the nasty with current boy-toy Riley Giles, right? Or, wait, was it married musician Tony Allen? According to an earlier article by Walker, our little fire-crotch meant both!

"Lindsay perpetrated the drama by focusing her laser beam of love on one male patient, then abruptly ditching him for another suitor," reports MSNBC. "Lindsay just sat back innocently, watching the jealousy build – and the guys finally started beating the hell out of each other."

Perhaps for Lindsay's next stint in rehab, her parents should look into a non-coed facility. Although, that probably wouldn't stop her from getting a quick bang in a broom closet anyways.

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