Bodog Beat

To some, just your everyday, run-of-the-mill picnic table — to Ohio resident Art Price — a hot, sexy bitch. (Courtesy code poet@flickr.com)

Forty-year-old Bellevue, Ohio resident Art Price, Jr. may have an issue or two. Price was caught on tape performing a sexual act on a picnic table. His neighbor caught him on four occasions making sweet, sweet love to the table by inserting his schlong into the hole where the umbrella stands. According to Fox News (who else?), Price would tilt the table on its side before giving it to her.

The neighbor called the police and because the picnic sex took place in the proximity of a school, Price was hauled off to the pokey (pardon the pun).

Police Captain Matt Johnson said "The first video we had, he was completely nude. He would use the hole from the umbrella and have sex with the table."

Price, a married father of three, was released on a $20,000 bond.

Hotter than a picnic table? The Bodog Girls. Duh.