Bodog Beat

Simon Cowell split from his girlfriend Terri Seymour, the woman in the picture who Cowell is not leering at. (AP Images)

Apparently, Simon Cowell has left his girlfriend of six years, Terri Seymour, because of her insecurities. But imagine dating Simon Cowell. After a romp in the sack, Cowell probably strokes his chin and says, "It was mediocre. Kind of average, really. Like a garden without roses or ice cream without the sprinkles."

A friend of Cowell’s told Britain’s Star magazine: "He told me he is tired of Terri’s insecurities. They lead separate lives, and that’s how he likes it, but lately she has turned up unannounced at events he is at. “Just recently, she was meant to be working on a red carpet as part of her presenting job for US TV show ‘Extra’. But instead she turned up at a party Simon was at with Ryan Seacrest. Simon wasn’t happy and felt like she was checking up on him."

The source goes on to say that after she checked up on him, they argued and Cowell got back at her by jetting off to St. Tropez with friends.

Yeah, same here, Simon. Whenever I get pissed at my better half, it's off to Barbados. Or Barstow.