Matt Grant presented Shayne Lamas with the final rose and an engagement ring. (Courtesy ABC)

After tears, make-out sessions and one jilted bachelorette, Matt Grant picked wannabe actress Shayne Lamas.

The 27-year-old British financier awarded his heart and expensive ABC-purchased engagement ring to the 22-year-old actress and daughter of actor Lorenzo Lamas.

"This is the happiest day of my life," said Shayne.

As he walked the rejected bachelorette, Chelsea Wanstrath, out to the limo, she blurted, "I don't understand! To me she was the falsest person here!"

Missed all the action? No worries, Bodog Nation has chronicled it from the beginning. Check out the madness:

This week Matt Grant looked uncomfortable sitting in front of the salivating jackals that were the jilted bachelorettes. (Courtesy ABC)

Here we are at The Bachelor: The Women Tell All where 25 women are contractually obligated to relive their reality TV humiliation via clips we've already seen and Chris Harrison's scripted digs. Sa-weet.

Seriously, it should be called The Women Tell Nothing because that's what it is, a bunch of replay. However, there were a couple of new things: Stacey was back to confront her blackout demons and the bachelor himself Matt Grant showed off a brand spanking new David Beckham crew cut, so let's see what happened, shall we?

Read the remainder of The Bachelor: Revisiting Hell in Bodog Nation.

This week Matt Grant introduced the ladies to his little friend. (Courtesy ABC)

Yes, it was "sex" week on The Bachelor, and with just three hopefuls left, the claws came out and the clothes came off. Chris Harrison’s voiceover (which we have grown to know and love) promises us “the most romantic episode of the Bachelor EVER!” and if romance is defined as Matt Grant fucking everyone, then be still my heart!

For the rest of the world, Hump Day is Wednesday – that middle-of-the-week day that separates the beginning of the week from the end of the week. For bachelor Matt Grant however, Hump Day is the time in the show when he gets to literally take three chicks back to his "fantasy suite" and ravage them. True story. Thus, in this week's episode of The Bachelor, Matt Grant found himself in Barbados for a romantic, "intimate" weekend with his three beautiful babies. Read the remainder of The Bachelor: Hump Day in Bodog Nation.

Could this British bloke fit in with the chiseled pecs and scripted catchphrases of the Renegade? He tried. (Courtesy ABC)

On the first of his three hometown dates, Matt Grant traveled to Los Angeles to meet Shayne's parents who included the Renegade himself – as well as Shayne's mother, a woman who can only be recovering from a punch in the face.

First up, Matt salivated to see Lorenzo Lamas who immediately broke the ice by telling Matt that Shayne only went on The Bachelor to further her acting career. Among the Renegade’s superpowers must be the "throwing the daughter under bus" ability. Wicked!

He went on to further sabotage her chances by telling Matt that Shayne wanted to be a good actress, but even more than that, she wanted to be a star (because the Bachelor is the road to the Oscars). We all remember the bachelors and bachelorettes of seasons past – such as Drunk Chick who flashed and Scary Chick who went psycho. And of course, we all know that former Bachelor winner AND Bachelorette star Jen Schefft is currently working the PR circuit peddling deodorant sticks. Yes, Shayne, the post-Bachelor life is all accolades and floral scent roll-ons.

Read the remainder of The Bachelor Hometown Dates in Bodog Nation.

Being The Bachelor has its perks. You get to live in a mansion, drive a hot car and help yourself to the ample bachelorette boobies. (Courtesy ABC)

Welcome back my little Bachelor-hungry babies. This week, Matt Grant treated his bachelorettes to a groping as well as a fabulous trip to Idaho! The girls went ballistic because, you know, London, Paris, Rome, Idaho. The only other time they would ever have the opportunity to visit a place so exotic would be if they married a truck driver or got into the booming potato picking industry.

Read the remainder of The Perks of Being The Bachelor in Bodog Nation.

What did one desperate bachelorette do before she got the axe? She introduced him to the twins. Holla! (Courtesy ABC)

Yes, the hours you lost watching The Bachelor finally paid off.

This week on The Bachelor, everyone hated Robin, Ashlee (the singer/songwriter) showcased her mad singer/songwriter skillz, Kelly flashed her moneymakers, Marshana had a meltdown and Matt Grant, our British bachelor, sucked face with all of them. Jolly good snog, old boy!

During their alone time together, Matt commented on Kelly's body language: crossed arms in front of chest. She sighed, "You know what?" and opened her dress to reveal generous boobies. Thankfully, the hardworking ABC camera man zoomed in. Give that man a raise.

Read the remainder of The Bachelor: The Girls Up the Ante in Bodog Nation.

On The Bachelor, crafty producers told the girls that wearing tight shorts and wrestling each other in the mud was called "playing rugby." (Courtesy ABC)

This week on The Bachelor, there was blood on the rugby field, but unfortunately, no one was killed. Also, the girls became progressively jealous, catty and insane, but that didn't stop our British bachelor from sucking face with all of them. "Oiy! Give us a snog!"

So, this week, the girls squealed when they opened the Date Box and withdrew the card that read, "It's time to get down and dirty. Please join me for a game of football – British style."

As soon as Matt Grant ordered the girls to suit up in their smuttiest rugby gear, producers hosed down the muddy field for the extra girl-on-girl mud wrestling factor. Matt then marveled that most men pay "big money" for this. Awww, he's such a romantic.

Read the remainder of The Bachelor: Rugby Anyone? in Bodog Nation.

The women lined up for judgement on The Bachelor. (Courtesy ABC)

Sure The Bachelor has been guilty of setting feminism back, say, hundreds of years, but us loyal fans tend to let that slide because hey, the catfights are pretty cool.

On the second installment of The Bachelor: London Calling, nothing degraded these women more by making them walk down a catwalk in front of our British bachelor who screamed Austin Power-isms at them (i.e. "Yeah, baby!" and "You make me horny").

However, our bachelor Matt Grant quickly pointed out that this was no superficial venture—he had a rose to give out, damnit. He told cameras it wasn't about "who the hottest" is, but who really "goes for it," lest he give the impression that judging women on a catwalk was all about looks.

Read the remainder of The Bachelor: Catwalk of Shame in Bodog Nation.

With "proper English gentleman" Matt Grant as the new bachelor, this season there will be romance, catfights and of course, shattered whore dreams. (Courtesy ABC)

So Season 12 of The Bachelor started Monday night, and as usual, the sequence where salivating girls were fed booze, then given a few hours to impress the man meat before he eliminated half of them was so painful, I wanted to peel my face off. Yes, desperate chicks were pulling out all the stops, including arm wrestling, singing, playing the clarinet and shoving panties in the bachelor's pocket. It was like a beauty contest for the insane.

This season, host Chris Harrison is giddier than ever. "Why," you ask? Well this season’s bachelor is Majaah! Oiy, pour me a cuppa? Yes, kids – this boy's a Brit! Introducing… drum roll please… "proper English gentleman" Matt Grant. Cue idiot girls squealing, "Talk British to me!" Gah. Kill yourself. Or… read this recap, whatever's easier. Read the remainder of The Bachelor: London Calling in Bodog Nation.