Hilton started promoting last month at the US FiFi Awards where she won the Female Celebrity Fragrance of the Year award, which we're sure is pretty fucking prestigious.

Siren, which is scheduled to be released next month, contains notes of mandarin, armpit apricot and assfoot frangipani together with honeysuckle, smelly nuts coconut orchid and vajay jay water lily on a dildo woody vanilla and puke musk base.

Sarah Palin: Guaranteed top-seller of all-time.

Oprah Winfrey: A-Rod could do her magazine in a crossover.

Susan Boyle: Even more proof that Britain’s Got Talent.

Kate Gosselin: Remember when TLC was educational?

Paris Hilton: She needs the publicity.

Suzy Kolber: Joe Namath will be first in line to buy one.

Carrie Prejean: It’s either this or Fox News for the former Miss California USA.

Jenna Jameson: The next logical step from body painting.

Lady Gaga: Because cocaine chic is marketable again.

Tony Siragusa: There’s another reason why they call him The Goose.

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The Mirror reports, "As soon as Paris arrived she had her tongue down Doug's throat. Everyone kept saying how inappropriate they were being but Paris didn't care who was looking.

'They got so worked up she dragged Doug below deck so they could have some private time. But as they were closing the cubicle door so they could tear into each other, they were caught out. David spotted them and the captain was furious. He kicked them off for unsociable behaviour. Everyone congratulated the captain.'"

Nicely done, Captain. Paris should be kicked out of more places for being a dirty birdy. I mean, when people go out to have a good time, they don't want to see yucky shit like this.

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Hilton lost the camera at the Bongo Virus party at Trademark nightclub in Sydney. Therefore, the Internets will be blowing up any day now with racy shots of the drunk (and most likely nude) heiress.

"She lost it in the chaos. It must have fallen out of her bag," Bongo Virus publicist Karen Griffin told the Melbourne Herald Sun:. "She is disappointed as it has her personal photos of her visit on it. They are happy snaps and there are also some pictures from her trip to the snow before she came to Australia. It is the camera she had with her when she was on Bondi Beach."

So for those of you who are turned on by bird-like looking specimans, this is great news for you. Carpe Diem.

Paris told Glamour: "We're fine now. I think she's really changed. I saw her a month ago and she was really sweet and seemed really happy and we're all adults now. Actually I've just decided not to fight with anyone because it's really not worth it."

And Paris, who starred in that infamous sex tape, is also claiming the world has the wrong impression of her.

"I've only done it with a couple of people," she told the magazine. "People make up stories, but mostly I just kiss."

The pair were recently spotted at L.A.'s Bar Deluxe on a night out. Reportedly, Hilton attempted to pretend they weren't together.

However, last night, Paris was seen with her ex, Benji Madden. The pair both attended the grand opening of the Dolce & Gabanna boutique on Robertson Boulevard and were later seen getting close in a private corner.

Inside souces (courtesy of Star magazine) are saying that Paris thinks Benji is too controlling and wants her freedom back.

The Star insider says, "Paris was fed up with Benji always telling her what to do and bossing her around. She couldn't take his overbearing ways anymore. It was stressing her out. He can be very aggressive and he was just too much trouble."

The source adds that Benji didn't take it well. They say, "He fought for a second chance and asked if they could talk it out but Paris said she was done talking."

"I love that I'm curvy," Kardashian told Radar magazine. "But I'm on this major kick to try and lose weight, especially in my butt.

"I'm just so over it! When you're posing on the red carpet and the paparazzi shout, 'Turn around! Turn around!' – it gets a little offensive."

Kardashian, who currently stars in her E! reality TV show, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, also denies rumors that she's had any sort of butt-enhancing surgery. "I've seen magazines where plastic surgeons are saying, 'If you want a butt like this, it has to be fake,'" she said. "I'm just like, 'Dude, have you ever seen an Armenian girl before?'"

As for the nasty remarks former BFF Paris Hilton said about Kardashian's ass, "Wasn't that nasty? She called and apologized, and I accepted her apology."

Hilton said that Kardashian's ass was like "cottage cheese inside a big trash bag."

"She said she was joking," Kardashian continued. "I kind of laugh it off, like, 'You know, I've never denied having cellulite.'

"Everyone's entitled to their own opinion. If she thinks my butt looks like that, I don't really care. At least I have a butt."

Indeed you do.

Kardashian is scheduled to perform on Season 7 of Dancing with the Stars! Check out the Dancing with the Stars betting odds in the Bodog Sportsbook today!

She closes with "see you at the debates, bitches."

Has your respect level for Paris risen slightly? Will Paris win the presidency? Probably not, but you can bet on Obama in the Bodog Sportsbook.